You know you're from California if…

7 Apr
  • Your coworker has 8 body piercing and none are visible.
  • You make over $300,000 and still can’t afford a house.
  • You take a bus and are shocked at two people carrying on a conversation in English.
  • Your child’s 3rd-grade teacher has purple hair, a nose ring, and is named Flower.
  • You can’t remember . . is pot illegal?
  • You’ve been to a baby shower that has two mothers and a sperm donor.
  • You have a very strong opinion about where your coffee beans are grown, and you can taste the difference between Sumatra and Ethiopian.
  • You can’t remember . . . is pot illegal?
  • A really great parking space can totally move you to tears.
  • Gas costs $1.00 per gallon more than anywhere else in the U.S.
  • Unlike back home, the guy at 8:30 am at Starbucks wearing a baseball cap and sunglasses who looks like George Clooney really IS George Clooney.
  • Your car insurance costs as much as your house payment.
  • You can’t remember . . .is pot illegal?
  • It’s barely sprinkling rain and there’s a report on every news station: “STORM WATCH.”
  • You pass an elementary school playground and the children are all busy with their cells or pagers.
  • It’s barely sprinkling rain outside, so you leave for work an hour early to avoid all the weather-related accidents.
  • HEY!!!! Is pot illegal????
  • Both you AND your dog have therapists.
  • The Terminator is your governor.
  • If you drive illegally, they take your driver’s license. If you’re here illegally, they want to give you one.
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